There are just a few of the things I’ve heard from my clients and I wonder if you are asking yourself something similar?  You are looking for a sex therapist because you have at least a shred of interest in figuring out the answers to these questions and understanding your thoughts.

Listen, I know your relationship to yourself or your partner(s) is important, and having a sexual relationship is what distinguishes this relationship from others. 

I can also appreciate the question of why one ought to feel sexual desire in the absence of sex worth wanting.

Stress, medications, aging, illness, child bearing and rearing, relationships shifts, mood, work, schedules, and LIFE can all get in the way of wanting to reach out to connect.

You can feel the tension between you and your partner. Is it normal to not be aligned in how much you want to be sexual? How do you even go about approaching this sort of thing? Are you wondering if your low libido is your problem, your partner’s problem, or a problem you share? I’ve got you. We can make sense of this together. 

Let’s figure out when all this started, when you noticed it, what you’ve already done to address this, and what you want to see change. We can make this feel a little less daunting. 

Pain is our body’s way of telling us something is not quite right.

If you are having pain STOP what you are doing that leads to your pain (before, during, or after being sexual) and reach out to a health care provider you feel comfortable talking to about your body and sexual health. 

Pain can be caused from a variety of factors, and I can help support you in and through your treatment. There needs to be SOMEONE you can talk to about the painful sex you experience. I can’t tell you the last time I was in a convo where someone was talking about the painful sex they had the day before. It doesn’t feel like there is permission to talk about painful sex, it can feel isolating, and you may be wondering if you are alone.

Let’s take this subject out of the corners of your brain (or genitals), connect your feelings to these sensations, and come up with options for how to approach this painful subject. 

You’ve heard of Sexual dysfunction, but coming from a place of strength, I want to talk about current sexual function. How we can get sex to look a closer to how you WANT it to looking like, using the body parts involved with giving and receiving pleasure, including the most important sex organ, your brain.

You may experience issues with desire, excitement or arousal, obtaining or maintaining an erection, problems reaching orgasm,  ejaculating before you’d like to, not being able to ejaculate at all, or not being able to relax the muscles in your pelvic floor to allow for penetration, or pain (see above). 

The good news is many problems with sexual functioning can be addressed. I provide a thorough assessment and make referrals as needed to sexual medicine providers to address your concerns. 

Talking about sexual pain and functioning is hard. I get it. Talking about it helps you gain more comfort and confidence to address your sexual problems.  I can help you get to the bottom of what is getting in the way of functioning the way you’d like your body and brain to work.